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The Era of Casual: Why Relationships Are Really That Deep

Rishika Singh

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August 3, 2025

In today’s society, we often receive mixed messages about how we should handle relationships and affection, especially in the romantic sense. The vast majority of the time, it feels like the biggest truth pushed is that relationships should be casual. No strings attached, no emotion involved, simply outlets of physical exertion with no true, deeper emotional connection. Coupled with this we see messages of taking things slow, and always, always putting ourselves first. We can never stop to consider the other person, rather we should live in a hedonistic fashion: simply consuming all the benefits of physical proximity, without any of the challenges of emotional intimacy. But what does this do to us? 

Many problems can, and do spring up from this kind of messaging. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, is the overall attitude we have towards relationships today. We don’t view them as avenues to explore and connect with other humans, or foster a deep sense of understanding about someone. We view them as transactional, because if relationships truly aren’t that deep, then surely it must not matter what we do, or how we treat others. In comes a culture of self-importance, and only considering yourself, because nothing can overcome the desires of the flesh if nothing else matters. 

Here we become obsessed with ourselves, and only ourselves. What do I want? With who? When? Rarely do we consider the other person and their feelings. Rarely do we recognize the other person caught up in tandem with us. We want something, we get it, and we move on. By not realizing how important the true connection between two people is, we mistake simple self-gratification as a solution for the deeply human ache of true intimacy. We leave out consideration for the other person, and we leave out consideration for ourselves. 

When we engage in short, causal relationships, we never truly manage to quench the urge for connection, often jumping from one fling or situationship to the next. Or, we stay put in our misery, obsessing over someone who doesn't understand why we truly feel and care for them so deeply. For a moment, let us consider why this happens. When we deny ourselves a moment to think about our actions before we execute them, we miss key moments of self-reflection. What we’re trying to do is pacify the urge for connection, by giving ourselves short hits of dopamine, often coupled with rash physical proximity. What we fail to do is build the foundation of trust and connection that needs to precede such an action in order to feel truly fulfilled and satisfied. 

Rishika Singh

Rishika is a junior at Dublin High. She loves to read and can always be counted on to have a book in hand or be baking chocolate chip cookies. Rishika enjoys learning new guitar riffs and playing them, as well as finding cool vintage places to shop.