Manifesting a Year of Growth
If I hear one more “this year has to be better than the last two,” then I might just lose it.
2020 was a complete s***show, I agree with that completely. A new virus keeping us all away from one another, political debate on every platform, and having to hear about Tiger King was all a bit too much. 2021 wasn’t much different. We went back to work and school with masks and social distancing. Experienced multiple mutations of Covid-19 and became vaccinated. No one was left untouched by the taunting of 2020 and 2021, but it was all of the chaos that made it a time to remember.
Our lives did a complete 180 and life turned upside down. It wasn’t all too bad though.
Each month the last two years brought me new challenges, opportunities, and time to find my voice. Toxic relationships held me back, my sense of worth was invisible. I felt as if I was no one with nothing to show. My only distraction from the toxicity was my work and I took advantage of it. I poured every ounce of energy into my online platform. By the end of 2019, I felt as if I were just a shell of who I used to be.
The first quarantine slowed me down. That’s the time I had to take my struggles head-on and figure it all out. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
My relationships ended with some people. I suffered tremendously, I couldn’t shake the hold they had on me. Months went by and all I did was lay in bed and cry. I didn’t know it then, but those months were the most transformative of my life; I had broken free.
Naturally, my work suffered. My writing came to a halt simply because there were no words I wanted to share. My mind was too busy learning to cope with the loss. At the same time, my anxiety of not working enough had to be faced. Working myself to exhaustion was not healthy and the overwhelming weight on my chest to do more was breaking me down.
How much work I could get done and how successful I was determined my value. Surprise, that’s not healthy!
All of the issues I had kept stored inside of me last year came out and there was no more running away. 2021 brought me the chance to readjust and continue on with life. The work was hard and at times seemed impossible, but getting to heal brought me happiness I hadn’t felt before.
It’s been an interesting few years, but I hope to have the same growth in 2022. This whole Covid thing can end, but I can’t imagine living as the same person I was in 2019.
2020 and 2021 changed my life in the most amazing ways and I will hold onto that forever. When my kids ask about masks and social distancing they will hear about it, but they’ll also hear about how that time in quarantine and adjusting back changed my life for the good.
2022 is a year of continued growth and healing. I am manifesting a year full of love, confidence, and improvement.
Thank you 2020 and 2021, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now without you both.
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